Friday 4 November 2011

Dear Diary - Day 8 ... Oh dear… I’m drunk…


I know this because I discovered a huge spider outside our room tonight. Not like a man-eating spider or anything; just a critter with a leg span of about 10 centimeters. Big enough to encourage an embarrassing movement if you aren’t that keen on them. How did I discover the spider? Well I needed a wee, and as I was pissing on the outside of our house the spider came hurtling down the wall and disappeared under the foundations. Well, I hear you ask: Why were you pissing on the outside of your house when you have perfectly acceptable facilities within? The answer is that the door key wouldn’t work.



Eventually, having relieved the urinary tension that was clouding my better judgement, I realized that I was trying, defiantly, persistently and with crossed legs, to fit the key for 239 into 241’s lock. If the occupants were light sleepers they must have been terrified.

Without the tension of a pressing bladder problem, and of a much clearer mental disposition, I set off in search of 239… and found 243. Right! About turn… and, a while later, here I am safely ensconced in our little house. The key fitted the door perfectly, Sims is asleep on the bed, wrapped up in a sheet, that makes her look quite angelic, and I’m, quite obviously, drunk…

1 comment:

  1. Since you arrived, ten pictures on this blog have featured beer. There would be more, but you seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time underwater. May I put in a request for the world's first sub-ocean pint?

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