Dear Diary - Day Minus 15 - Avoiding the Dreaded Sea Wall

On the advice of the contributors to Trip Advisor we contacted the hotel this afternoon by e-mail and requested that we be given a "room" (c'mon it's not a 'villa', really, is it?) between 155 and 168. These are, apparently, away from the 'dreaded' sea wall. The sea wall is a two-foot high stone construction designed to limit the erosion of the beach around the island. It covers about a quarter of the perimeter. I sent our request to foe.mir@adaaran.com.mv and asked for a response - which we have not yet had.

I did some fundamental mathematics this evening, after a few beers, and worked out that Usain Bolt could reach the water's edge, from anywhere on the island, in 5 seconds. Given that I am a corpulent smoker, estimated to be about 10 times slower than Mr Bolt, I expect that the same journey should take me no longer than a minute with a bit of time to light a fag on the way. This is something that I can live with.

I'm trying to get excited about looking at fish in an environment other than Mr Chungs; the local Chinese-owned fish and chip shop, or the fish counter at our local Sainsburys. I used to enjoy looking into the big salt water fishtanks at the Oasis tropical fish shop where I bought my, now deceased, goldfish. They have tanks full of brightly coloured fish and spiky urchin things. In my enthusiasm I convinced Sims to buy the whole snorkelling kit and kaboodle on Amazon - so we're both tooled up. Flippers, goggles and the pipe-like tube that allows you to breathe underwater. Sims will, doubtlessly, glide through the water like a lithe shark, but what the fish will make of an Elephant Seal in a T-shirt remains to be seen.

Two weeks to go and I'm getting ridiculously excited. Sims is excited too. But enjoyment is about managing expectations.... this is going to be all about what we choose to make it....